Where’s Mine??

Dear Uncle Sam,

I have read lately you're in the giving mood. Things are going well for you this year and obviously you are being very generous with your gift-giving. How wonderful!

Giving a blank check for $800,000,000,000.00 to several unnamed financial institutions set a precedent that wowed even the likes of Ted Turner. I also read that you recently signed up to give another $300,000,000,000.00 to Citi Group plus an additional $20,000,000,000.00 "stimulus" stocking stuffer. Who'd of thought the coffers were so deep after all the talk of handing out $250,000,000,000.00 to three of the many auto manufacturers who operate businesses in our country who can't seem to stay afloat on their own. What's really amazing is how you all budget such generous gift giving considering that the War on Terror is costing $10,000,000,000.00 a month. Whew! What a mortgage payment that seems to be!!

They say it's better to give than to receive. Way to go above and beyond!

With this kind of generosity and loose giving running rampant this should be a banner year for the Salvation Army, Goodwill, sundry food pantries, United Way, homeless shelters, United Negro College Fund, Boys & Girls Club of America, Scouts and the myriad other organizations that survive on donations to help those less fortunate. After all, aren't we first taking care of the people who worked hard, paid taxes and maybe have fallen on some bad luck?

I'd also like to just say thanks in advance for the generous gift that is surely coming my way. Because in my life I, too, have made some financial mistakes; I've made some bad investments; lost a good deal of my retirement; gone through the financial devastation of divorce; been "upside down" in my car; suffered a short sale loss of a home when the housing market crashed; and had some bad luck. I'm bleeding money left and right and don't really have a plan to fix it.

Additionally, I know that generous financial gift, which is all but in my account already, won't require any kind of approval from the people who funded it. Nor will you be bothered with reading over any kind of plan on how that humongous sum of money will be spent. In return you will experience the joy and satisfaction of knowing my continued failures won't do me in. Surely that will be more than enough to make the homeless feel warm, the hungry feel satiated, the abused feel safe, the sick to feel healed and the impoverished children to feel loved this holiday season.

Hope you and Mrs. Sam are well this financially blessed holiday season. Merry Christmas to you and your family.

~C

P.S. I didn't get much of a vacation this year. Do you all still have that time-share in the Keys I can have for a few weeks this winter? Thanks in advance.