"We must scrupulously guard the civil rights and civil liberties of all our citizens, whatever their background. We must remember that any oppression, any injustice, any hatred, is a wedge designed to attack our civilization."
~Franklin Delano Roosevelt, January, 1940
"They (who) seek to establish systems of government based on the regimentation of all human beings by a handful of individual rulers... call this a new order. It is not new and it is not order."
~Franklin Delano Roosevelt, March, 1941
In my lifetime I've seen our country slip away from long standing roots of being a Democratic nation. Our country has stood tall and proud as a Democratic nation for over 200 years. We stood united and existed as the United States. In the last 30 years that has all but unraveled. Though we still call ourselves the United States we hardly stand united.
A more accurate description of who we are is best described as a Separate-But-Equal nation. We've become a nation of Consociationalism where everyone is accommodated. Whereas our nation stood for what was best for the majority, we now are a nation of Least Common Denominator. Our policies and practices have boiled down to being non offensive, non abrasive and all accommodating to all demographics regardless of prevalence. If it offends any ONE then it offends us all.
To put this tongue-in-cheek...
Company Memo:
FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director
TO: All Employees
DATE: October 1, 2008
RE: Gala Christmas Party
I'm happy to inform you that the company Christmas Party will take place on December 23rd, starting at noon in the private function room at the Grill House. There will be a cash bar and plenty of drinks! We'll have a small band playing traditional carols... feel free to sing along. And don't be surprised if our CEO shows up dressed as Santa Claus! A Christmas tree will be lit at 1:00 PM. Exchanges of gifts among employees can be done at that time; however, no gift should be over $10.00 to make the giving of gifts easy for everyone's pockets. This gathering is only for employees!
Our CEO will make a special announcement at that time!
Merry Christmas to you and your family,
~Patty
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Company Memo:
FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director
TO: All Employees
DATE: October 2, 2008
RE: Gala Holiday Party
In no way was yesterday's memo intended to exclude our Jewish employees. We recognize that Hanukkah is an important holiday, which often coincides with Christmas, though unfortunately not this year. However, from now on, we're calling it our "Holiday Party." The same policy applies to any other employees who are not Christians and to those still celebrating Reconciliation Day. There will be no Christmas tree and no Christmas carols will be sung. We will have other types of music for your enjoyment. Happy now?
Happy Holidays to you and your family,
~Patty
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Company Memo:
FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director
TO: All Employees
DATE: October 3, 2008
RE: Holiday Party
Regarding the note I received from a member of Alcoholics Anonymous requesting a non-drinking table, you didn't sign your name. I'm happy to accommodate this request, but if I put a sign on a table that reads, "AA Only", you wouldn't be anonymous anymore. How am I supposed to handle this? Somebody?
And sorry, but forget about the gift exchange, no gifts are allowed since the union members feel that $10.00 is too much money and the executives believe $10.00 is a little chintzy.
REMEMBER: NO GIFTS EXCHANGE WILL BE ALLOWED.
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Company Memo:
FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director
To: All Employees
DATE: October 4, 2008
RE: Generic Holiday Party
What a diverse group we are! I had no idea that December 20th begins the Muslim holy month of Ramadan, which forbids eating and drinking during daylight hours. There goes the party! Seriously, we can appreciate how a luncheon at this time of year does not accommodate our Muslim employees' beliefs. Perhaps the Grill House can hold off on serving your meal until the end of the party or else package everything for you to take it home in little foil doggy baggy. Will that work?
Meanwhile, I've arranged for members of Weight Watchers to sit farthest from the dessert buffet, and pregnant women will get the table closest to the restrooms.
Gays are allowed to sit with each other. Lesbians do not have to sit with Gay men, each group will have their own table.
Yes, there will be flower arrangement for the Gay men's table.
To the person asking permission to cross dress, the Grill House asks that no cross-dressing be allowed, apparently because of concerns about confusion in the restrooms. Sorry.
We will have booster seats for short people.
Low-fat food will be available for those on a diet.
I am sorry to report that we cannot control the amount of salt used in the food . The Grill House suggests that people with high blood pressure taste a bite first.
There will be fresh "low sugar" fruits as dessert for diabetics, but the restaurant cannot supply "no sugar" desserts. Sorry!
Did I miss anything?!?!?
~Patty
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Company Memo:
FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director
TO: All F*%^ing Employees
DATE: October 5, 2008
RE: The F*%^ing Holiday Party
I've had it with you vegetarian pricks!!! We're going to keep this party at the Grill House whether you like it or not, so you can sit quietly at the table furthest from the "grill of death," as you so quaintly put it, and you'll get your f*%^ing salad bar, including organic tomatoes. But you know, tomatoes have feelings, too. They scream when you slice them. I've heard them scream. I'm hearing them scream right NOW!
The rest of you f*%^ing wierdos can kiss my *ss. I hope you all have a rotten holiday!
Drive drunk and die,
~The B*tch from H*ll!!!
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Company Memo:
FROM: Joan Bishop, Acting Human Resources Director
DATE: October 6, 2008
RE: Patty Lewis and Holiday Party
I'm sure I speak for all of us in wishing Patty Lewis a speedy recovery and I'll continue to forward your cards to her.
In the meantime, management has decided to cancel our Holiday Party and give everyone the afternoon of the 23rdoff with full pay.
Happy Holidays!
~Joan
I truly believe the only way our country will return to the greatness we once knew is to become United once again. Though we will never have all 300,000,000 citizens in unanimous agreement on any issue. What we can do is realize that while we are all unique (education, gender, sexual orientation, background, heritage, native language and faith, along with different views on foreign policy, finance and health care, military and government), we still share many commonalities and goals.
We all share the goal of wanting to do better for ourselves and our children. We all want to worship how and when we choose. We all wish to enjoy the freedoms and rights ensured by our Constitution and Bill of Rights. We want to earn a good living and live in a nice home. We want peace. We want health. We want equality. We want respect. We want justice. Sometimes we want to be left alone and other times we want to be included and have a voice.
Diversity is a good thing. It helps us see the world in unique and relevant ways. We all matter and our opinions count but we must realize that everyone can't win everything all the time. We cannot keep accepting that no one will win if everyone can't win. That makes us all losers.
We need to accommodate as many as we can in every decision that we make; as a family, school, church, temple, community, county, state, nation and world. Rather than abandoning any benefit for anyone when everyone cannot benefit we should get back to making decisions that benefit the majority. Even if we all don't win, we all benefit from being one, United.
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