Gay Marriage: Separation of Church & State or Denial from Divorce Court?

Gay rights are an incredibly polarizing topic in our culture. Right now, the Supreme Court of the United States are hearing arguments for and against passing law to allow (or deny) same-sex marriage. This is a monumentous time in our Country's history, for sure.

• Where do you stand on gay marriage and same-sex legal unions?

I'm asking whether it should be legal for two people of the same gender to be legally united in matrimony, just like their differing-sex counterparts, in the eyes of the US government...and the IRS. I'm not asking where your church or faith beliefs stand.

Today, all 50 States allow two same-sex people to date, maintain a romantic relationship and cohabit. They can hold hands in public, go out on dates, shop together, vote, pay taxes, co-borrow on a home, attend church (yes, they really attend church...sshhh) and even share a bedroom. Gasp! They get to do all of the same things that straight people do. What they cannot do in every state is take advantage of the same IRS tax code, share medical benefits, take a common sir name, make death-bed decisions or visit divorce court. Today, these are legal "privileges" for the straight and married.

The decision before the Supreme Court has nothing to do with faith, God, the Bible, or what you and I believe from a religious point of view. This is about life, liberties and the pursuit of happiness. This is the essence of our Constitution, through separation of church and state.

Contrary to popular opinion, there is no official Constitutional Amendment specifically guaranteeing any separation between church (faith, beliefs, houses of worship) and state (government, taxes, state and federal laws). The whole 'separation of church and state' reference was made by Thomas Jefferson in 1802 in his letter to the Danbury Baptist Association as to the importance of the First Amendment: "Believing with you that religion is a matter which lies solely between Man & his God, that he owes account to none other for his faith or his worship, that the legitimate powers of government reach actions only, & not opinions, I contemplate with sovereign reverence that act of the whole American people which declared that their legislature should 'make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof,' thus building a wall of separation between Church and State." 

I couldn't agree more.

If you don't agree with same-sex marriage or legal unions, then why not? What do you think the consequence will be? Some opponents to such laws believe there will be a "result in public schools teaching our kids that gay marriage is okay". Similar and stronger statements have been issued by the Roman Catholic Church and Church of Latter Day Saints, among other mainstream faith organizations. My home church, the United Methodist Church of the Resurrection, welcomes any and all who come seeking His word, regardless of sexual orientation, despite the governing organizations (United Methodist Church) decision to not participate in gay marriage ceremonies. But that may change.

There seems to be a lot of deeply faithful people who think our government should protect their tenants of faith through government legislation. This ideology effectively mandates a certain belief system through law. I find such efforts disturbing and frightening. I don't know about you, but I don't want the government telling me what to believe, what faith to have, or how to worship. I don't want a state run church. No one does.

I've heard many people use the logic "The Bible says it, I believe it, that settles it." Which is all well and good...if you don't read very much of the Bible. Or, you pick and choose what parts of the Bible you choose to 'believe it' and 'settle it'. The Bible makes far more references to the acceptance of slavery, concubinage, demeaning women, killing children and many other detestable acts, over and above the condemnation of homosexuality. Furthermore, the homosexual acts referenced in the Bible (arguably only five such references exist) have nothing to do with two same-sex people who enter into a committed relationship, and more to do with the cultural norms of the Roman era and how men and boys were hazed and punished, and the sicknesses of immoral communities (which did and DO exist in Biblical times and our modern heterosexual world).

You have every right to believe gay men or lesbian women should not be married in your church. If your church doesn't support gay marriage then they don't have to marry gay people. No argument. It's diverse faiths and beliefs that make our country stronger and a great place to live. But let's not confuse faith practice with legislation of law abiding citizens.

For just a moment, let's take sexual orientation off the table. Let's hold the straight feet to the same fire.

If you think our government should pass laws to protect the "Biblical elements of marriage," then I have to assume you also want repealed any and all laws that recognize marriage outside of the Christian faith. You must certainly want to do away with legal unions based on NO faith, right?

What happens to Jewish, Islamic, Buddhist, Hindu or Wiccan couples? What about atheists and agnostics? What happens to the marriages of myriad soldiers and sailors who have married their sweethearts at the J.O.P. before they ship off to war? All of those marriages are, and always have been, protected and recognized by all 50 States despite not being done in concordance with "Biblical values."

If two straight people, regardless of faith, can be legally married outside of Christian faith values, then this issue really boils down to legislating faith, or an attack on gays. Or both.

The issue confronting the Supreme Court is not about faith, God's will or the Bible. It's about fairness, equality and justice for all citizens. It's about the rights of ALL citizens. It's about being Of the People, By the People and For the People. Notice the word "straight" is not in the last sentence.

Can we really take faith principles out of the picture; WWJD? Faith principle and practice is matter of personal belief, of course. Here's what I believe: Jesus stated in Matthew 22:21: "Render unto Caesar the things which are Caesar's, and unto God the things that are God's" Jesus made clear His wish to keep faith sacred while still respecting the authority of secular law. As a Christian I try to balance my faith with my patriotism and desire to be a good citizen. I don't see the issue of gay marriage as an affront to my faith or beliefs in any way.

Fair is fair. If we aren't going to make allowances for same-sex marriage, then we should at least adjust all the other laws that benefit one sexual orientation over another. But I'm not hearing any of the Christian conservatives arguing that tax code should be rewritten for straight, married couples and child tax credits negated. I guess some of us have no problems using those extra gay taxes to pay for the schools that our hetero-created children are attending. Even though some of them will "come out" as gay some day when they grow up.

I tremble to think that our country, which was founded on the principals of equality for all citizens despite differences, is so widely divided on this seemingly minor hurdle. If you can't get your head around the equality of gay people being legally united in the eyes of all 50 United States, then maybe it would help you to think about guaranteeing equal access to divorce courts for everyone. :)